I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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