so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
