Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
