i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
