No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
