im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
