I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
