I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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