ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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