why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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