I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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