there's paper in my vomit.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
