I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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