I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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