Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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