so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
