at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
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I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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