We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
