Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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