So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
