I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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