I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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