Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
