Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
