Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
