i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
