i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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