just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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