I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
is it fun? or sober?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize