When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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