Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm gonna have a badass scar
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
