How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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