Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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