please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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