I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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