she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
