then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Still dying that you shit outside
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
