This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
