i permit you to call me
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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