I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
