i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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