I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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