Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
