you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My bed smells like the plague
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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