I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
