I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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