maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i out mim tonsoeep
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
