I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
