I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
