We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
