Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
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woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
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Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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