with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
