You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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