wakey wakey hands off snakey
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
