You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Do vagina's smell?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
