apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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