He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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