I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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