God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
my sisters under your porch take her home
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
