And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i dont even know how to be here
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
