just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
