Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
