i permit you to call me
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
