you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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